The Perfect Grade
by Hunt's Honey
Summary: Just how far would Hermione go to get the perfect grade?
1. Plan A

The Perfect Grade  
  
By Lisa aka Lord Snape's Lady.  
  
A/N I know I hate these but I have to put this.  
  
I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE WRITING THIS!! And I also know there's a collective sigh three updates in less than a week! I have no idea what's going on with Bob but hey, he stings and then I have to write it!  
  
Sorry for anyone who's being reading Snape's life after the war but bob isn't getting his furry ass into gear on that front so hey a new fic! Oopsies!  
  
I don't own this, nor do I own Starbucks! Or Austin powers (he's not in this btw I just love him!)  
  
Rated R - just in case.  
  
Summary – Just how far would Hermione go to get the perfect grade?  
  
Hermione Granger was sat in the Head Girl rooms and she was thinking. As usual, her thoughts were about school.  
  
'What am I going to do, I need the perfect grade in everything and I'm not. And no, I'm not going to become the Gryffindor version of Pansy Parkinson and sleep with my teacher to score a perfect grade. And I can't say I wouldn't. But unless I can think of something to do to boost my grades that will have to be my plan B. I still need a plan A though!  
  
What does he do on a morning; I'm sure I heard Draco whinging about it when we were doing patrol. Oh goddess what was it. Oh that was it he was annoyed because Snape had gone to get his morning coffee from Starbucks and he wasn't able to get a hangover cure. Well, that's an idea...'  
  
Hermione got up from her bed and left her rooms with a determined glint in her eyes. Professor Severus Snape was NOT a morning person. He wasn't even an afternoon person; hell he wasn't even an evening person. Whenever you caught him he would be in a bad mood, especially on a day like today.  
  
First of all his alarm clock hadn't gone off and so he'd overslept, he had barely had enough time to get dressed and get to his lesson on time, let alone apparate to Starbucks and get his morning dose of espresso. And on top of all that he had the seventh year Gryffindor and Slytherin class to deal with. The door to the potions classroom flung upon and Snape glided in.  
  
He sat down at his desk, flicked his wand and the instructions for the potion to be made that day appeared on the chalkboard.  
  
He called the register and only stopped when he got to Hermione Granger.  
  
"Mister Potter, perhaps you could tell me the whereabouts of the third member of your trio?"  
  
Harry who was deep in concentration and not paying much attention said,  
  
"Ron oh he's over there sir."  
  
"No Potter not Weasly but Granger – the girl with frizzy hair" he clarified.  
  
"Er Mione where are you Snape wants you." He responded while looking under his desk.  
  
"Oh never mind Potter and 10 points from gryffindor for acting blonder than Malfoy is."  
  
Draco looked up and after a loud 'all right' he got back to his work trying to figure out what Professor Snape had meant.  
  
Then for the second time that lesson, the classroom doors flung open. This time it was Hermione who entered.  
  
She strode up to Professor Snape's desk, threw him an almost apologetic look and then placed something on his desk.  
  
He smiled inwardly and then in his silky-est and most deadly voice he said,  
  
"Thank you Miss Granger, 10 points from gryffindor for disrupting my lesson and a further 10 points from gryffindor for trying to bribe me with a cup of Starbucks coffee."  
  
Hermione turned and quickly set up her workstation and began to prepare her ingredients.  
  
'How can he say that, I was doing a nice thing for him. Ok I was trying to bribe him because I have the perfect grade in every subject except potions where I come under Malfoy. Goddess knows why because he can be so ditzy at times it makes models look intelligent. Looks like I'm gonna have to up the stakes a little...'  
  
Malfoy suddenly shouting interrupted Hermione's musings,  
  
"Oh my god, I get it now that's just plain insulting and rude and really hurtful" he said while tears spilled down his face.  
  
Some of the class merely chuckled and got back on with their work. While Harry and Ron both looked at Malfoy and then at each other with horrified looks on their faces.  
  
'Thank god I only have to teach that blonde idiot until the end of the year. I have no idea how he's lasted so long here. Actually yes I do, its because of me giving him no, constantly giving a passing grade in potions. That and the fact he keeps stealing people's homework.'  
  
He took a sip of his coffee.  
  
'God this is perfect. How did she know? I wonder what she'll come up with next?'  
  
A/N 2 – sorry this is crap but its only the beginning and it will get better and all of you thought this would be smutty get your minds out of the gutters [for a while anyway ;)]  
  
Please press the lovely purple go button below and review. If you have any ideas for other things that Hermione could do for Snape, please let me know in a review and I'll incorporate into the story. All credit will be given for the ideas.  
  
And I know its short but sorry it's all I could come up with! Sorry! 


	2. The problems with bloody Gryffindor's

Hello all! I'm really sorry for updating but life's got in the way a lot. Thank you for all the idea's that have been sent so far. Please keep them coming. Special thanks to **untamedspirit** I'll be using one of her suggestions but changing it slightly.

Also if you haven't read it already, check out my other HG/SS story, Snape's life after the war. You can find it on my profile page. As always please review and I'll put my thank – you's at the end of the chapter

Lis x

Chapter 2 – The problem with bloody Gryffindors.

Potions finished without any more problems and after class, Hermione left Harry and Ron to go to Divination while she went to Arithmancy.

However when she got there, she found she could not help but think about all of the other things she could do to get her Perfect Grade. Distracted throughout the lesson she racked her mind trying to come up with something else to do. She was quite pleased with her progress so far.

Glad that Arithmancy was over she packed up her belongings and took one last pitiful look at Draco who was still sniffling from what Snape had said to him.

As she was walking to the Gryffindor common room, she had a brilliant idea and instead detoured to the library. She would be able to knit the gloves for dobby when she came back. The gloves were a thank you, because she had got him to turn off Professor Snape's alarm clock.

Searching through the shelves she found the book she wanted and then left, as it was almost time for lunch and time to put her plan into action.

She rushed down to the Great Hall and made sure she was strategically placed to begin the next phase of bribe Snape.

Soon enough, the great hall was full enough and the man of the moment came gliding into the great hall through the teacher's entrance. He had hoped that miss Granger wouldn't be foolish enough to try something with a room full of people. Oh how wrong he was.

Just as he was about to place his bottom on the chair. Hermione hit it with her spell. As Severus began to lower himself down, he almost fell off. His chair wasn't like the rest of the staff's. It had being turned into a squashy dark green armchair.

Severus, who now had the attention of the entire great hall because he had yelled "Bollocks" as he realised his chair wasn't where it should be left the hall looking flushed and muttering something about 'bloody Gryffindors'.

Hermione was now slightly worried. She hadn't expected him to leave the hall. She still had another part of the plan to put into practice. She decided to risk it, left Harry and Ron and headed down to the dungeons.

She tentatively knocked on his door, at hearing nothing she snuck into the classroom. Using a useful spell she had learnt, she changed his desk chair into a comfortable armchair, but disguised it as his normal desk chair. Satisfied with her work she went to gather her belongings before going to Care of Magical Creatures.

Part way through the lesson, Professor Snape strode down to Hagrid's hut.

"Excuse me Professor Hagrid, would it be possible for me to borrow Miss Granger for a minute"

"Sure it is Sev'rus."

"Follow me." He said curtly to Hermione and she began to follow him, feeling apprehensive.

Once they were suitably far enough away from the class, he turned round to her,

"Wand. Now."

Hermione complied and turned her wand over to him.

"Priori Incartartem"

As he uttered these words a transparent bunch of flowers appeared from the end of her wand.

He handed it back to her and turned to leave before saying,

"Very well, Miss Granger. I have no proof this time but I will catch you out mark my words. Bribing me isn't going to work I suggest you try working harder."

He turned and left, leaving Hermione rooted to the spot.

'Who the hell does he think he is? Oh yes I'll work harder and he'll live to rue the day he gave Malfoy better marks.'

With an evil smirk on her face, she turned round and went back to class.

As she sat in her room that night, trying to block out Draco's whimpers (he was still crying now. Could he not get over it?!) She decided that this would have to be a very carefully thought out and calculated plan of attack.

For the next few days, Severus was wary of Hermione, but he then thought that perhaps she had learnt her lesson and would stop trying to get her better marks. Little did he know that Hermione spent every free moment calculating her next move.

'Send him flowers – no too girly.'

'Redecorate his chambers – possible.'

'Scrub all the cauldrons as well as reorganising his stock cupboard. – Good one, but I'd need enough time to be able to do this. I could do with some inside information.'

'By Friday night, Hermione was exhausted. But just before she fell asleep, she added one more thing to the list and with a small smile tugging at her lips, she fell asleep.

Thank – You's

Untamedspirit – Thanks for the review and the ideas, as you can tell I used one of them so far, and I might use the other one later on I'll see how it develops.

The-sexy-flower – thank you for your review I think I might use that one later on but tweak it slightly.

Lalalalala – I'm glad you liked the Malfoy bashing, he really deserves it sometimes. Thanks for the review.

ILOVEPADFOOTANDPRONGS – it won't be one of THOSE fics – yet. It may become smutty later if I can't think of any more ideas. Thank you!

Invisible Voice – thanks for the review I like your idea a lot.

Azulkan2 – thanks for the review. Bob says thank you for complimenting his humour and he sends you a fuzzy bee hug! I hope this chapter is as funny as the first.

MoonAssasin2 – Thanks! Sorry it's taken so long for me to update.

Cookies and Milk for everyone that's reviewed so far. Please make my day and review! THANK YOU ALL!!!

Lis x


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